Life on Hold

There are many things that you 'should' or 'should not' do while trying to conceive and in early pregnancy:

• don't use toothpaste with triclosan
• limit your caffeine intake
• limit your alcohol intake
• exercise regularly
• don't exercise too hard
• eat a healthy balanced diet
• don't smoke
• take multivitamins
• don't lift heavy things
• don't get stressed
• don't eat soft cheese, salads, processed meats... (this list goes on and on)
• don't garden without gloves
• and so on... an so on

Some people follow the advice religiously.  Some people scoff and say they had 3 kids and ignored the list.  The thing is though... the list is there because there is a risk.

I don't know or care how big that risk is.  The risk is there and it is the individual's decision to do or not do based on their knowledge of the risk.  In most cases, the risk of anything bad happening from any of the above is very very small.  Lots of people tell you that... that there's only a 1 in 1,000 chance of something bad happening - so go for it!  The thing is, what if you are that 1 in 1,000?

There is only a very small risk that you will have 3 miscarriages in a row.  For me though - that risk is 100%.  It happened.  So even if the risk, or the chance, is miniscule, to someone, that risk is everything.  The risk wouldn't exist if it didn't happen to someone.

I follow a lot of the 'rules' of trying to conceive.  I wasn't very strict the first time around.  I became a little stricter the second time around and more strict again the third time around.  I now drink decaf coffee for goodness sake!!!  When you don't know why something bad is happening, you just try to eliminate every conceivable controllable thing that may have the slightest chance of contributing.  So that's what I did... to a large extent.

The problem with that is though... you have to put your life on hold.  I have a big blank canvas of a backyard.  Now, I love gardening, and I love luscious gardens.  So having a big blank canvas of a backyard is not something I want - not without getting my hands stuck into it anyway!  I've been putting off starting the garden.  I know it's a big job - and backbreaking a lot of the time too.  That's why I put if off.  The 'list' includes avoiding backbreaking tasks - and digging in gardens!

The problem is, there is only so much time you can put your life on hold.  This trying to conceive time of my life may stretch on for years.  I don't want to look at a blank backyard forever.

So today, I bought some garden edging, picked up a shovel, and laid into the yard.  I now have my garden marked out - with garden edging to boot.  I feel good too.  I think the sweaty work set my endorphins running - I'm pretty sure that's good for trying to conceive!