We live in a pretty lucky country, in a pretty lucky time.
Here I am, on paid maternity leave, with my partner being able to take time off on paid paternity leave when bubs comes. I have all sorts of equipment to help make me more comfortable (fitballs, pillows, vouchers to the day spa); I can have a say in how I deliver our baby so long as all is well. I attend yoga for pregnancy, aqua therapy for pregnancy. I have a room full of old and new baby things that didn't break the bank. I have the choice of so many types of nappies, prams, car seats, clothes, swaddles. I can attend classes run by so many different organisations on so many different pregnancy and birth topics.
A pretty amazing and lucky place to be really.
Some of these things I see as being a bonus, but most of them, I see just as part of our society - the norm, the expected. They weren't always the norm or the expected however. My mum made do with so much less. It doesn't mean that I should have to. Our society has grown. But it does mean that I can look at what we have and feel lucky.
There are a few other things out there that to me, are not the norm. But I wonder when they will be. Where is the line drawn between being over the top, and being the norm?
I've noticed many couples posting pictures on Facebook lately of belly shoots - that is, a photography shoot (professional) of you and your partner in the later stages of pregnancy. A lovely way to remember this time. I had never thought to do it. Professional photography shoots used to be the domain of weddings, and weddings only (in my world anyway). They aren't cheap. They aren't a necessity. They're a luxury. It used to be one of the most expensive single items within a wedding. And now people do it for each pregnancy. Wow. We're lucky when a once perceived luxury item starts becoming more common. It's been happening for years though - red wine for dinner each night, for example (mmm how I've been dreaming of this). A luxury - but a lot more common now.
Then there was another term I heard twice the other day, a term I have rarely heard. It was the 'push present'. Others like to call it the 'birthing present' but 'push present' seems to be the most common. I had never once thought of the need or desire to be given a push present from my husband (even though I do expect birthday and Christmas presents). However, it seems to be getting a little more common to expect this. Some women are just expecting flowers, which I'm sure they'll get, at least from someone, but the most common expectation I hear is jewellery. Often quite expensive jewellery. To live in a society where people can expect to receive expensive jewellery for each time they give birth tells us something about the society we live in and how lucky we are to be here to even consider that!
I do wonder whether the 'belly shoot' and the 'push present' will become an expectation; a right; the norm, in the future. If they do, indeed we are very lucky, but where do our expectations end? Should they end? Will having these great expectations lead us down a selfish path that's best not tread, or are they just something our society can adapt to? Like expecting birthday presents or wedding photography? Where will the line be drawn, and if it's not drawn, will these growing expectations be positive or negative for our society?
For me, for now, I will be happy (very happy) with what I've got - the amazing support of my husband. That's my great expectation.
