My family is vey lucky, in the conception stakes.
My Mum has 3 girls, all conceived easily, she didn't even have to think about it. I am the third and the baby. She did have one early miscarriage before my birth. From my conversations with her, it didn't effect her emotionally, she was more interested in the biological aspect. I guess though that she already had 2 kids, and hadn't known for long, it would be easy enough to cope with. And then of course I came along - kind of glad about that.
My sister fell pregnant with her beautiful boy a few days after going off the pill - she wasn't actively trying. Her daughter came just as easily. And then there was an oops. Another beautiful girl - her hubby must have super sperm because she fell pregnant way outside of her 'fertile window'. All amazing children and all much loved.
Then there is me. I fell pregnant in my 2nd month trying. The first month can't really be counted as 'trying' either. We were on our honeymoon in Fiji... perfect environment for baby making! My fertile window however, fell while we were at a homestay and sleeping in the main living area of a family in a small village. The bed was separated from the rest of the room by a sheet... but still, we didn't feel quite bold enough to go ahead with that one. And what with my family history, why would we have to rush?
So the next month, I got stuck into it with fervour - I like biology, I like science, I like research and data... so I started taking my temperature each morning, using OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) and all sorts of other unmentionable things you can take note of when TTC (trying to conceive). Some call me obsessive... I just call me 'me'. I'm like this with everything - I find it fascinating, and yes, I find it fun.
Well, it paid off, and I fell pregnant. We were very happy, and we called it 'pea'.
After 8 weeks of dreaming, and beginning to adjust to the idea of becoming parents, we went off to enjoy being a couple by staying in a romantic cottage with a fireplace and all, and heading out to a big festival - what fun! Enjoy it while we can!
Well, it seems, we can enjoy it longer.
That weekend, I started bleeding.
After our weekend, we headed back to Brisbane and off to the emergency department. They booked me into the early pregnancy assessment unit (EPAU) the next day. They said 'don't worry, bleeding in early pregnancy is common'. In my heart, I knew it wasn't going to be ok.
That night, I spent hours in pain, I imagine it's like early labour but I don't know, I've never been there. It was painful enough that I had to vocalise through the contractions. I miscarried that night.
The next day saw us at the EPAU. The nurse gave us a tiny spark of hope. But the ultrasound spoke otherwise. There was nothing there.
I went home to carry it through naturally, that didn't work. Two weeks later, during the Brisbane floods, I had an operation to remove the rest of the 'material'. They diagnosed that it had been a normal pregnancy.
At almost 10 weeks pregnant, we had lost our baby. Our first baby.
