I would like to give a bit of advice to all the ultrasound practitioners out there...
Be on time... to the exact second. Or early! Early is good! In fact, early is super great! A few people out there will be nodding their heads, for those of you who have a quizzical look on your face... here's why.
A few days ago, I had an appointment to get an ultrasound. You have some directions to complete before arriving. They are very specific and involve drinking a litre of water in half an hour, one and half hours before your appointment. I was at work when the half hour time slot came by and managed to chug down four glasses of water while madly running around finishing up the jobs I had to do before the drive to the x-ray clinic. Everything is going fine at the moment.
At 2.45pm, 15 minutes after finishing my litre of water, I started the 35 minute drive to the clinic. No worries there, at least for the first half. Towards the end of the drive, just as I started hitting traffic, bumpy roads and red lights, the water started making its presence known. The seatbelt pressure was a tad uncomfortable. But it was manageable. I'd be there soon.
So, I arrive 10 minutes early (you might be lucky and get in early!) and made myself comfortable in the waiting lounge. The comfort was short lived. With each passing minute, I became more and more aware of the pressure down below. I started fidgeting. I started squirming. I tried sitting in so many different positions people must've thought I had worms. I even lifted myself off the chair with my hands to try and relieve the pressure...
I was watching the clock intently... 8 minutes to go... oh my goodness, I can make it. The clinic door opens - I look up expectantly with hope shining from my eyes, but she calls the wrong name. The pressure increases... 5 more minutes, I can do this. The door opens again - please be for me!! Nope, not for me.
I wiggle some more, cross my legs, uncross my legs, lift my bottom off the chair. Oh my, thank goodness I've been practicing pelvic floor exercises! 2 minutes to go, the door opens... I think my look of hope is now a squished up strange look of half pain - please be for me!!! Nope, not for me. I start thinking about how much longer I can last. What will I say to the ladies at the front desk? Just how strong are my pelvic floor muscles? I don't think I can hold on much longer...
It's 3.30! That's my appointment time! It'll be my turn any second now!!! The door opens.... damn, not for me. Oh no. I start rehearsing... "I just need to go a tiny bit!" Surely they don't want a mess! I start closing my eyes, try to meditate... oh no - that's too relaxed, bad idea. Everyone else seems so calm and my mind is going nuts! I have to go to the toilet!!!!!!!!!
It's 3.40 - I could've started drinking 10 minutes later! I can't hold on anymore, this is it!
The door opens - he calls my name! Thank goodness! But he's up the other end of the clinic! So I waddle across the room, standing up tall in a very strange manner, slightly tilted over, my forehead creased in concentration, desperately trying to look normal and failing miserably. That was close... way too close.
Please be on time next time!
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