Before falling pregnant, I was terrified of giving birth. Absolutely and utterly terrified. Most of what you hear are the horror stories: how it's the most painful thing you'll ever go through; how excruciating it is; how unrelenting it is; how no man could ever survive it; how it takes you above and beyond your limits.
Not exactly supportive or inspiring stuff. No wonder I was terrified.
Once I fell pregnant, however, I began to develop a different attitude and have nurtured this attitude over time.
One way in which I am nurturing this is by attending active birth yoga. It's absolutely brilliant. I went last night and gained so much from the session. Our teacher doesn't glorify or gloss over birth, she acknowledges the pain and the difficulties you will face, but she provides you with tools to manage that pain and those difficulties the best you can. It is such a positive attitude towards birthing, and so supportive of our role in the process and our ability to birth. Of course we have the ability to birth - that's what our bodies are made for. That's what billions of women have done before us, and choose to do again. Yes we can do this, yes it will be painful, but yes we can manage it and we don't have to fear it.
I came home and dicussed all the tools I had learned with my husband, and how he could help me access those tools when I needed them during labour. It was a great discussion, and I look forward to expanding my tool kit to give me the best chance possible of managing labour positively. I came away from that session looking forward to birthing our daughter and having faith that I could do it, without the need for fear.
Today, in the lunch room, a co-worker asked me if this was my first child. When she found out it was, she put on a crooked smile, a knowing gaze, and a half laugh as she said - "just wait til the birth". What a way to undo the fabulous attitude my yoga teacher left me with - just one sentence, so full of inference. I refuse to listen to birth as negative, something that's going to be the worst experience in my life. I just can't see how that is going to help me through the process.
Bring on yoga.
Not exactly supportive or inspiring stuff. No wonder I was terrified.
Once I fell pregnant, however, I began to develop a different attitude and have nurtured this attitude over time.
One way in which I am nurturing this is by attending active birth yoga. It's absolutely brilliant. I went last night and gained so much from the session. Our teacher doesn't glorify or gloss over birth, she acknowledges the pain and the difficulties you will face, but she provides you with tools to manage that pain and those difficulties the best you can. It is such a positive attitude towards birthing, and so supportive of our role in the process and our ability to birth. Of course we have the ability to birth - that's what our bodies are made for. That's what billions of women have done before us, and choose to do again. Yes we can do this, yes it will be painful, but yes we can manage it and we don't have to fear it.
I came home and dicussed all the tools I had learned with my husband, and how he could help me access those tools when I needed them during labour. It was a great discussion, and I look forward to expanding my tool kit to give me the best chance possible of managing labour positively. I came away from that session looking forward to birthing our daughter and having faith that I could do it, without the need for fear.
Today, in the lunch room, a co-worker asked me if this was my first child. When she found out it was, she put on a crooked smile, a knowing gaze, and a half laugh as she said - "just wait til the birth". What a way to undo the fabulous attitude my yoga teacher left me with - just one sentence, so full of inference. I refuse to listen to birth as negative, something that's going to be the worst experience in my life. I just can't see how that is going to help me through the process.
Bring on yoga.
It's shitty when Already Parents say those things. She probably did have a hard time, but with an attitude like that I doubt she was using active birth yoga.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I think we go to the same yoga place....
If there are lingering fears for you, I've heard hypnotherapy is awesome. I've used it for other things, including my fear and stress around falling pregnant. Works a treat!
Your birth will be amazing - you're getting so close to meeting your baby now! No matter what stories people tell, they always end with "It was all worth it."
Ha ha msbreeze! We seem to be stalking each other! And yes, no matter what happens, it sure will be worth it.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing you can do is ignore other peoples comments. Just smile and nod :-) Though it is hard!
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my first I had an epidural and the second I did naturally - simply because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it on my own. I'm so glad I stuck to my guns!
Thanks jungle kitty - that's good advice.
DeleteHi Dizzy,
ReplyDeleteTry not to listen to all the negatives. My daughters birth was positively awesome and has me feeling and knowing I can birth naturally again. Some people just want to horrify you with their own insecurities. I still stand by the fact my tattoo hurt way more than labour and birth. We can do this :)
Thanks choc - empowering people is so much better than setting them up for failure or fear so thank you for the empowerment!!!
ReplyDelete